life imitating art

I've found the way to ensure I'm ready when my kids want to create is to have the supplies not only accessible, but visible. When they tore the cardboard container for these markers apart (they're not hellions, I swear), I threw the markers into a bowl I have as decoration until I found a suitable container (or so I planned). Its carved wood, sent to my by my best friend while she lived in Japan. Its the only piece I dare display that she sent. The other ones are waiting patiently for children to age (and our residence to be more organized and decorated, to be honest). The markers have stayed in this bowl. They look great there, right on my kitchen table always. 

Wally's drawings have become quickly less scribbly and more recognizable. Today he drew a carrot snake. The carrot had the correct colors. His drawings of germs leave me smiling.

This was big-ish for me, as a mom. Letting the evidence that I have children be present in communal living spaces. Our living room is toy free (when its clean. ha) The children's books are neatly on a shelf in our main bookcase. Our fridge is regularly cleared of clutter. Though we used to have alphabet magnets, it was too much for me. I wanted to maintain clear spaces that were still tidy, had some semblance of style, and were ready for nice talks and discussions. In my head, clear tupperware containers that housed bright-colored blocks would be a subconscious mental block to true discussion. I'm fully aware that a lot of this has to do with our space being small. But I think it has more to do with my worries of losing myself as I shaped my children.

The markers in the bowl looks like the smallest evidence. It was huge for me, though. The change its made in them has me glad. I think there are more ways I can have tools to creativity accessible to them  in spaces other than their room.... and I know I can do this without stress to the "niceness" of home.

running running running

so very many things plopping around in my head.
sadly, the best description of this is that there is a bottleneck of my status updates... that's sad. life in terms of status updates.
for example:
do other parents have a systematic approach to their children's physical activities? Like, this spring we'll do t-ball, soccer in the summer, basketball in the fall?
--Being able to walk into a store and purchase jeans in my pre-pregnant size felt great yesterday. this is the fastest i've bounced back.
--I am a curmudgeon-y old lady who actually expects my cashier to address me... other than saying just the total and hereyougo when handing me my receipt. i even want the cashier next to her to not be leaning on the card tower and me awkwardly having to scootchy scoot closer until she realized she needed to move.
--I love walking around with lil Fern wrapped onto me. buying a ring sling from la leche league of salt lake city was such a great thing to do 3 hours before i had Fern. I literally get asked at least 2x every time I'm out how I like using the sling and whether or not i'm worried while wearing it... will she fall out, will i bump hard into her.... no to both of those, by the way.
--i want to photograph, i don't want to photograph. i have a unique vision, i have nothing to say, and over and over and over.
--i'm completely in love with marta's write club posts. They're from awhile back and I still gravitate to them when i think to myself, i sure would like to be a better writer.
--have you read downburst yet?
--i made quite the mistake last week when i ordered some film. but it has created an interesting challenge that i am looking forward to solving. having a challenge is pulling me out of a rut. does that happen for you?

all the stages

me through my own camera (thank you carolee)

and then as i worked at the market (thank you leslie)

then as i spent one of my last nights with some of the ladies (thanks holly)

and contemplated if this would be a christmas baby (thanks kiera)

all of that was along the way that led me to this:

Fern.